Jennifer (skyblu683) wrote,

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More ramblings

I am so sick of some of the people I'm surrounded by everyday. How mean is that? I don't know if it's just me being extra sensitive to stuff cause I'm stressed out lately or just seems that there are so many assholes out there and they all like to show themselves at once. The only way I can describe it is DISAPPOINTING. You think you know somebody - but then they turn out to be the complete opposite? How many COUNTLESS times has this happened in my life? It's just so frustrating.

I had a good time in high school - not a great one, but it was good by all standards. But the things in high school that bothered me the most were the people who, for example, you did a project with in class for two weeks, yet when they saw you outside of class they pretended they didn't know you, and after the project you were dead to them. When I graduated I thought, seriously, I was leaving that all behind. But no, you get to college and you think that maybe everyone grew out of it - but now I realize that it's not something you grow out of, it must just be people in general.

I had a horrible roommate situation last year if you recall. Well about a month and a half ago Melissa (my roommate since freshman year) and I had lunch, during which time she apologized for being so horrible to me last year. That meant so much considering that a lot of time had passed - it really made me feel a lot better about the situation (which I had been blaming myself for). Well we talked a few times since then because we catch the same shuttle bus to the Minneapolis campus twice a week. Now she completely ignores me. It started off slowly. At first we would talk while we waited. Then she I guess made some friends, so no more conversation, maybe a hello - I could handle that fine. Now it's ignore Jen completely regardless if she has her friends there or not. Yesterday she sat in the seat directly in front of me on the bus and didn't turn around or say hi once (I would like to point out here that I have made every effort to be civil, etc, and I did say hello when she got to the waiting place the other day). What is with this? I mean how can you be friends with someone one day and then the next day just feel like ignoring them? Was I incredibly boring during conversations, so boring that you absolutely can't stand to talk to me anymore and are afraid that I will talk to you so you have to pretend I'm not there? Seriously. It just creates an awkward situation.

Same with that Emily situation that I wrote about the other day. I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much. But then I just thought about what a stupid thing it was. Emily realized how stupid and actually erased all entries and decided to not use the site anymore - which I commend her for, it was definitely her being the bigger person. Now I noticed in that other girl's journal not only did she bitch about Emily and offend her upright, but she posted the stuff that Emily deleted. OK does that give you personal satisfaction or what? Does the whole world need to see that you have a big mouth and are a big talker? Honestly. If you really feel you need to see that over and over, save it on your desktop and pull it up when no one is looking. I think it looks so much worse to show the world what a bitch you are. I mean you have the right to put in your journal whatever you want - but I just felt she did it out of spite and to try and make herself look like she "won" the fight or whatever it was.

I guess what I am saying is - it's frustrating to me that people can't act like adults by age 21. I am totally recognizing that people have a relapse once in a while *myself included*. But didn't anyone's parents raise them up telling them to be good people? Again, not saying I am above this at all. But I just feel like with me, regardless of the fact that I have a big mouth and a bad temper, what you see is what you get, once you get to know me. I find myself trying to justify myself to people a lot but all I can say is that's me. One day in like 1st grade my mom heard me saying something mean about some girl in class, to one of my friends, over the phone. When she heard that I got sat down and received the hugest lecture of my life, I swear. All about how you NEVER talk about people behind their back because it will come back to haunt you. And that people who need to entertain themselves by being assholes to other people are really the saddest people of all. I have never forgotten this. Obviously we all need to get out our frustrations with each other - but enough is enough and I think I've been pretty good about staying on the good side of that line. I don't know. That's sort of random I guess. My point is just that some people are just not who you think they are because they go around trying to be someone that they're not. And I don't think everyone is stupid enough not to see this. It's just hard to respect people when they obviously don't have respect for themselves, much less other people.
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